5-31-09

Dear Emma,

Did anyone in the world like the show Fraiser? I don't understand how a show so "smart" and "brainy" and "not-funny" could stay around so long? I watched it once for like 5 minutes and fell asleep.

Love,
Stephen

5-30-09

Dear Emma


Love,
Stephen

5-29-09

Dear Emma,

My favorite flavor of Otter Pop is Poncho Punch. Hands down.

Love,
Stephen

5-28-09

Dear Emma,

Today before the staff meeting 4ta and Jake got chips from Subway and each bag had like 4 chips in it. This prompted a chain of theories as to how we could get more chips in each bag. This prompted Kirk and I to each call Frito-Lay and tell them that they should install mini black holes in their bags to reduce bag-air content, thus allowing for more chips. They just gave us free chip coupons. Ineffective, at least.

Love,
Stephen

5-27-09

Dear Emma,

You are on an airplane right now. I am eating an apple. It is good. You should eat an apple too. Find a way.

Love,
Stephen

5-26-09

5-24-09

This post is written in binary, which took a while to convert from text, so appreciate my genius.

010001000110010101100001011100100010000001000101011011010110110101100001,

0100100100100000011010000110000101110110011001010010000001100010011001010110010101101110001000000111010001110010011000010110111001110011011001100110111101110010011011010110010101100100001000000110100101101110011101000110111100100000011000010010000001100011011011110110110101110000011101010111010001100101011100100010111000100000010010010111010000100000011010010111001100100000011101110110010101101001011100100110010000101110

0100100101110100001000000110100101110011001000000111001101101111011011010110010101110100011010010110110101100101011100110010000001100110011101010110111000100000011101000110111100100000011000100110010100100000011000010010000001100011011011110110110101110000011101010111010001100101011100100010110000100000011001010111100001100011011001010111000001110100001000000111011101101000011001010110111000100000011100000110010101101111011100000110110001100101001000000111000001101100011000010111100100100000010011010110100101101110011001010111001101110111011001010110010101110000011001010111001000100000011011110110111000100000011011010110010100101110001000000100100100100000011010000110000101110100011001010010000001110100011010000110000101110100001000000110000100100000011011000110111101110100001011100000110100001010

01001100011011110111011001100101,
01000011011011110110110101110000011101010111010001100101011100100010000001010011011101000110010101110000011010000110010101101110


(Dear Emma,
I have been transformed into a computer. It is weird. It is sometimes fun to be a computer, except when people play Minesweeper on me. I hate that a lot.

Love,
Computer Stephen)

5-23-09

Dear Emma,

Which Powerade quenches the best: red or blue? I think blue...water is blueish...thus better hydrating ability?

Love,

Stephen

5-22-09

Dear Emma,

I opened the dictionary to a random word. It was 'lumberjack'. I will use it in a sentence. "The Denny's LUMBERJACK Slam robbed a bank." That sucks.

Love,
Stephen

5-21-09

Dear Emma,

Today is the last day you will be in the office for 6 months. It could be worse, you could be gone for 9 months, which also happens to be the gestation period for a human child. Thus, at the least you will not be gone for a baby.

Love,
Stephen

5-19-09

Dear Emma,

I once had an "Everlasting" Gobstopper. Let's just say not a few childhood dreams were crushed.

Love,
Stephen

5-14-09

Dear Emma,
How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? 49,332. Problem Solved.

Love,
Stephen